[Adam Sharp]

Hello All, this is my first post here at myArmoury, though I have an account and a few posts over at swordforum, and another account and over 200 posts over at SBGswordforum. Thought I'd give this place a try as well.

Anyway, I recently put together a little how-to guide on beginning longsword fencing, and Paul Southren of Sword Buyers Guide has hosted it for me for free as part of his website. It's not complete yet(still have a glossary to write, as well as upload all the drills that I'm trying to film), and many of the pages will be expanded upon in the near future.

I'd like your input and or criticism so I can try to make it better for all. Please don't be too harsh though, as I said I'm still far from getting it to a point that I'm satisfied with it.

Thanks all in advance,

-Adam

[Adam Sharp]

In retrospect, it'd be a good idea when asking for a review of a website to include the link thereto.

http://www.sword-buyers-guide.com/trueswordsman-index.html

That is all.

-Adam

[Joe Fults]

Not a martial artist so I'm not going to comment on your content (much). I'm sure others will give you plenty of good feedback to chew on though. Opinions abound and are freely given.

I think you do a good job of framing things as your opinion and not absolute fact. The way you inserted photos and diagrams in the material makes it more interesting and readable. The flow through the content seems logical and makes it easy for the reader to work through the information. Overall a consistant layout and organization is maintained, which also makes it easier for the reader to work through your content.

Believe it or not some people may not know the exercises in your workout section, and people like looking at pictures. I think you should add some to liven that section up a bit.

There is also some inconsistancy among your links. More specifically, in some cases back takes you to the previous page, in other instances it takes you to an index page instead.

Jumping back and forth between Italian and German schools can make things a bit confusing, especially if your target audience is largely composed of new information seekers. When you have time, if you want to address both, I think you should consider making two distinct content paths (one for each school) when you move from your conditioning section to avoid blending things.

You talk about some other WMA organizations, I would suggest providing a reference section that will help people find them for more information if they want it.

If you are sourcing anything from other works (you should) it would be nice to include in text citations and a reference section in an standard format (APA or MLS are good). Its rarely done online, but it can greatly enhance content credibility to do so.

Finally your bio section could use a bit of tweaking. There are some spots where it does not flow as well as the rest of your content. Its also worth noting that some of the claims about your mentors are the kind of things that ring alarms with most people trying to study this stuff seriously. They are hard to prove when true. They are emotionally defended when false. After a student encounters claims of past deeds and secret association several times, one tends to become circumspect about people and content when encountering tales of this nature.

[Randall Pleasant]

Adam

On your web site you wrote the following:

[Adam Sharp]

I think you misinterpreted my meaning when I said that.

I wasn't trying to put down the ARMA website at all, and I have actually explored it quite a bit, I find it a great place to learn. But for someone who wants access to information on training with a longsword, the arma site is a bit hard to navigate. There are dozens of articles on many different things and the organization isn't optimal for someone who's brand new and wants an easy to navigate site referencing many aspects of longsword fencing.

I'm sorry if it came across negative for ARMA, I really didn't mean it to.

[Joe Fults]

Adam,

If your intent for the ARMA section is being misunderstood, it might do to work on it a bit. Everyone reads different meanings into words. When I read your ARMA material I figured it would rub people. You might just say that ARMA has a wider focus than just longsword, and as a comprehensive site can be overwhelming for the beginner, while your content is designed to be more focussed and easily accessible to the beginer.

Alternately (perhaps) say nothing about other organizations and just provide information on how to find them if the reader wants more information.

[Michael Eging]

The longsword is a foundational weapon, and honestly, I began training through use of the ARMA website. The public areas are just the beginning of the resources available, and for those who are starting out with longsword, they can also join the organization and access much more indepth work on the longsword as well as other weapons. Further, ARMA has study groups that are organized to assist people in acquiring martial skills. The website is just the opening portal to the organizations hands-on-work.

My two cents.

Mike

[Bill Grandy]

Guys, let's not get too hung up on the comment about ARMA: I didn't read it as a negative comment at all. It was merely saying (whether wrong or right) that his goal was to do a website focused purely on training, and that he felt there weren't any websites that did so. Maybe he's wrong, but keep in mind that the only link he provided to any WMA group was ARMA, and that this should be taken as a compliment to the organization.

Adam,
First off, I commend you on putting something like this together. I confess that I haven't given it a thorough read through yet, just a quick read, but it looks like you've got the basis of something that will be helpful for beginners. I do agree with Joe's comments, though, about mixing up the Italian and German stuff. For a beginner, that's really uneccessarily confusing. Besides which, you are only showing the Liechtenauer techniques, so it really doesn't make sense to mention the Italian side of things. Keep in mind that your target audience is a complete novice, and throwing so many names out is not only confusing, but will also cause the reader to lose interest. (Not to mention the fact that many of the guards are not quite the same thing in both traditions.)

I don't want to get into interpretation differences (at least on this thread), but one thing I noticed is that you said in your description of pflug that you did not like having the long edge up. Looking at the picture, I understand why: Your wrist is bent. This is meant to be held with the thumb on the blade (what you call the 90 degree grip), so that the wrist is straight and the forearm is aligned with the hand. I noticed that your pictures of the zwerchau also show the wrist bent. This is a very weak way of holding the sword, and is potentially even bad for your joints. Just an FYI.

Otherwise, good luck to your project, and I hope with your future updates you'll end up with something that you can really be proud of.

[Randall Pleasant]

Adam

Joe has provide very good advice and would indeed improve your site. I too should have provided such advice but when one is feeling the rub it is hard to be as positive as one would like. I do have a positive suggest that will add value to you site and help reduce any other rubs. Hidden away in one corner of your web site you note that you read books by John Clements, Christian Tobler, and Guy Windsor. I suggest that you make clear at the beginning of you web site where you got all of your material. Without providing a clear easy to see reference it makes it appear that you are providing an original interpretation rather than an overview of existing interpretations.

All the best,

Ran Pleasant
ARMA DFW

[Bill Grandy]

[Randall Pleasant]

[Michael Eging]

Sure hope I didn't sound negative, but shared my view of the website as a jump off point to the organization. Totally intended as constructive!



I like the overall layout too. Very easy to navigate.

[Michael Olsen]

As others have said before, and is a common saying on Wikipedia: Cite your sources.
Let the reader know where you got your information. I would personally include both modern interpretations (Clements, Tobler, et. al ) as well as the historical manuals.

Show the history.
As mentioned before, try and show the historical equivalent of the techniques you describe and put into images. Since it is a reconstructed historical martial art, I think it's important that people see at least a part of the original text and image.

Think about breaking it up.

[Adam Sharp]

Thank you for so much input, I didn't expect this much so soon. Expect me to work on a lot of the changes you mentioned in the near future.

I realize about the gripping portion that the pictures(i.e. the zwerchau and the Long-Edge-up Pflug) that my grip isn't fantastic. Those pictures a little old when my understanding and technique wasn't as good, I'll be redoing the pictures soon as well incorporating the improved subtleties.

About the italian and german stuff, I guess I should make a little disclaimer.

I'm not trying to create the stie about specifically German or Italian stuff. What I'm trying to demonstrate is my knowledge and experience(which I believe to be off to a great start and well on their way towards good proficiency) which I have learned based on my study of both systems. I'm trying to acknowledge everything that's out there so people know that I'm not trying to say "this is how I do it and it's the best, blah blah". I'm trying to offer something of everything so people can see that and choose for themselves how to do things.

Similar to what George Silver wrote about in his 'Paradoxes of Defense' about individuals having individual strengths and weaknesses and personalities and one shouldn't teach everyone the same thing in the same way, I want to show what I've learned in MY OWN style of longsword fencing- I.e. what I've found to work for me. To avoid sounding too pretentious however, I'm showing and referencing the German and Italian stuff to show I didn't just grab this stuff out of thin air.

I am going to start including some actual quotes from some of the manuals and even the modern training books as well per your suggestions, as I think this has merit(that way people see not only my own words, but others' as well).

The text, pictures, and layout are going to be under constant revision as my understanding deepens. I hope this helps to clarify my intent, as well as acknowledge all the opinions brought up about the site.

Thanks for all the comments by the way, both positive and negative. It's really helped me evaluate myself and grow.