[Russ Ellis]

Well folks it's that time of year again, it's time for the sixth annual which group do you belong to poll. For those of you unfamiliar with the poll basically I've laid out 14 categories of different groups of sword enthusiasts I've identified. You get to select one of the groups to which you most closely identify with. If you don't like any of the categories, that's okay I've got a category for that too. You don't like the descriptions? To bad it's my poll and I thought they were amusing.

This year to make it interesting again I'm going to be giving away not one but three prizes. The first is a genuine highlander katana knockoff. It's stainless, it's a wallhanger and it's actually rather pretty. The next prize is a genuine ninja-to complete with square tsuba perfect for standing on when escaping over walls etc. The next prize is a red oak boken. Any suspicious types that just think I'm cleaning out my closet, well I can only say... exactly right!

The way it works is whichever group has the most members will have one of it's members randomly drawn to select the prize of their choice. The next group in terms of numbers will have a member randomly drawn to select from the two remaining prizes and the third most popular group will get a member stuck with the ninja-to... (not literally I hope.) Shipping to be paid by the lucky winner.

Oh and post a reply saying which group you are in too so we can identify you with one of the groups okay?

So without further ado in no particular order here they are:

Category 1: The Scots
This group is a hard drinking hard fighting lot. Fiercely proud of their heritage they
will take their love of all things Scottish to incredible extremes. From time to time this
even leads some tough Scots lads to wear dresses er tartans all in the name of Scotland
(or at least that is what they tell us). Members of this group are also fond of putting a or
Mac in front of their surname. For example the McChicken or the Mcrib.
Scots are fond of their basket hilts, claymores, dirks
and sgian dubhs.

Category 2: The Celts
The Celts call Scots the newbies. Also fiercely proud of their heritage. The Celts have
it from a reliable source that all that is good in the world descended from Celtdom just as
all that is bad in the world came from those dastardly Romans. The Celts are fond
of blue paint, streaking and of course their leaf blades. (In that order I think.)

Category 3: Vikings
On snowy days in the frozen North when visibility has been reduced the Vikings are often
mistaken for trolls or large bears (and Im just talking about the women!) The Vikings are
a rough and ready bunch always willing to carouse or fight (and indeed sometimes with
Vikings you can tell which is which). They love those type X swords, lobated pommels and
something called an ax which we hear at sword forum are pretty sure is a myth.

Category 4: The Knights
Often mistaken for wandering ironmongeries the knights can easily be distinguished by all
the sheet metal that they wear. The knights are a idealistic group always searching for dragons
to slay, maidens to rescue and when all else fails windmills to tilt at. The knights greatest
pride is their medieval European swords of all types their greatest fear is powerful magnets.

Category 5: The Samurai
The samurai are a fearsome group of warriors. Not only do they have katana, wakizashi, and
tanto which everyone knows can cut though gun barrels, brick walls, volkswagon beetles and so
forth but when swords fail them they can always resort to words. In verbal duels they can stun their
opponents into insensibility by rambling on about menuki, tsuba, sushi, and various other esoteric
terms that only they know the meaning of.

Category 6: The Chinese are supposed to have endless numbers but such does not seem to be the case
on the forums since this group is usually pretty small. This group likes their tachi swords, daos and they
are absolutely convinced that you really can fly around in a bamboo forest.

Category 7: The Romans are a stolid business like lot. They enjoy marching about in large groups, fighting the
Celts, and talking about Caligula Now there was an emperor. They are fond of gladii in all their
forms as well as spatha, scutum etc. These guys are always ready to chase down the those naked celtic
streakers. (A scary thought in and of itself)

Category 8: The Renaissance Men (or women)
This group all carries an overgrown knitting needle about with them. For some reason they insist on
calling it a sword. They have even gone so far as to make up a name for it rapier. These folks are
also firm proponents of the rapier side in the eternal rapier vs katana debate.

Category 10: Middle East / Far East
Members of this group are fond of curvy swords (talwars, scimitars), curvy daggers (jambiyas) and curvy
women (hey if you don't know any examples I can't help you.)

Category 11: The Barbarians
Members of this group have a tendency to be weight lifters, have all the Conan Movies on tape, and are reasonably
certain that when they get to Heaven, Arnold will be sitting in the big chair. These guys love huge swords, which only they can use. These swords were reliably reported to have been created by pouring liquid steel into a mold in a big rock.

Category 12: Southeast Asia
These guys love odd looking swords with odd names. Things like the parong, the kampilian, and the keris all make their hearts go pitter pat. Despite the exotic nature of their weaponry don't underestimate them!

Category 13: Miscellaneous whiners
Last year I got in trouble with some folks who claimed that I had not put a category together that they and all their buddies would fit into. They made extravagant promises of huge participation in the poll if only this or that category were added. After all that ego stroking I added the categories and what did I get? Either one or no members in those
categories! Whoever it was that suggested elf didn't even end up in the elf category. Therefore the miscellaneous
whiners category was born. If any of these groups gets more then a member this year I'll give them a more respectable category. (This is all said very tongue in cheek folks don't break out the pitchforks and torches just yet okay?)

Category 14, The Fantasy Folks
These guys spend a large part of their time debating the most oblique references in the Tolkien books such as What Tom Bombadil really was? (Not even Tolkien cared as much about this question as these guys) and have a very active fantasy life involving a certain elf maiden. These guys are fond of fantasy leafblades, Narsil, Anduril, anything that bears any of those names or appearances, anything said to be inspired by any of those names or appearances etc. etc.

[Russ Ellis]

That's weird wouldn't it be better if the poll choices were after the text? <shrugs>

[Russ Ellis]

Guys you really have to post a response or I have no way of knowing who to award the prizes to..

[Nathan Robinson]

I broadened your description (in my mind's eye at least!) and chose Renaissance.

In my mind, the rapier is just a tiny bit of the Renaissance. After all, it's the single most diverse era of sword development the world has seen. So many strange and unusual specialized designs were developed during this period and the rate of development soared.

[Alexi Goranov]

Hi Russ.

Since you asked for responses, I felt like I should write something. sooooo, which group do I belong to...........a tough one this one is.......Ethnically I do not fit readily in any of the choices, but worry not. I will not make you introduce a "Crazy, Drunken, Eastern European Fighter-of-some-sort" category. So I voted nobly a "knight" I have to say that I am very often put-off by the over romenticizing of the medieval knight, but it is your description that made me want to put my self in that category I am the kind of person that incessantly searches for wind mills to tilt/bang one's head against. When I cannot find a wind mill I use a wall. I think that for my own good I have to buy a snell approved great helm And I am afraid of magnets........yet strangely driven towards....against my will...........

It is a fun poll. Lets see how it turns out.

Alexi

[Zach Stambaugh]

I was the first to vote but was unable to vote due to server problems or something.

ifit into several of thecategories, but voted knight. I want the ninja-toe.

plus I liked all of your descriptions specially the eastern....

and that is not just sucking up for the prizes. keep it up.

[William Goodwin]

I threw in a vote of Celt.....probably because I don't who the heck I am or where the crap I'm going most of the time.

[David McElrea]

Ooooo-- Difficult choice, but I think I will just have to go with knights, though a couple of others were tempting too.

David

[James Aldrich]

Renaissance. What Nathan said.

JSA

[Markus Haider]

Knight I choose. Renaisance or Viking would fit too.

[Allen W]

I had a hard time choosing between Scot and Viking as it can be somewhat difficult to distinguish between the two in terms of personality(any one read Feuds of the Clans?) and Icelandic sagas have to be the pinnacle of literature until the twentieth century. However I finally went with Scot due to the diversity it offers from an armament standpoint.

[Nathan Cole]

Had to go with knight. I would carry a nice sword and wear boots and a tunic/surcoat all the time if wouldn't get locked up for it. Of course I also wear a kilt at any reasonable opportunity (though I alone am judge of reasonable here ). I also love fantasy but I am a fantasy snob (Tolkien: good, D&D: cheap imitation). I also have to agree with Nathan, I think Renaisance two handers are some of the most beautiful swords. I chose knight because the Ideal of chivalry combined with armor and sword is an unbeatable combo IMHO.

Pax vobiscum,
Nathan Cole

[Roger Hooper]

As always, ( I think this is at least the fourth time I've taken this poll) I went for knight. This time I am an early 13th century Norman living in Sicily, the owner of a great fief. My boss? - the emperor Frederick II, Stupor Mundi! At this time Sicily was the place to be.

[Nathan Bell]

Another Celt here---Although I won't do the streaking thing, as the result of an overwhelming number of polite but very insistent requests *g*

[Patrick Jones]

Lord, tough decision!
I was minded to vote for half of them! (Or is that 'half-minded'... )

On my mother's side, I'm Irish and English; on my father's, Scottish and Welsh. I'd love to try wearing a kilt, but I dinnae have the legs for it! Yet I'm tickled by the idea of being a swaggering Renaissance bravo,

However, I ultimately voted by looking at the types of swords I currently own -- so I'm a peramulating ironmonger!

Go, KNIGHTS!

Cheers!

Pat

[Russ Ellis]

Well the knights seem to be off to a resounding start. I'm glad to see that some of you guys read the instructions enough to figure out that you had to reply to actually win the prize. I was beginning to wonder...

[Geoff Wood]

Yay, whiners every time. Looks like its kind of exclusive so far.
Geoff

[Gary Venable]

Got ta be the Knight...

[David Quivey]

Gosh, that was hard! I almost went with the Fantasy group because I am SURE I know EXACTLY who Tom Bom is Ah well, the Vikings got me again

[Allen W]

Do you think selecting the fist place winner from the largest group might be skewing your results?