Though hard to make out in spots and written in an older dialect of Klingon, I was able to translate what was written on the images. Below I show the images and my translation:
As you can plainly see, not a lot has actually changed in how the bat'leth is handled over the years. However, the footwork of these ancient warriors is clearly more complicated than its modern counterpart. One of the monks there told me there has been something of a revival of sorts going on on Qo'nos where some Klingons are attempting to relearn the old ways.
I leave you now to ponder the images and consider how the ancient art of combat persists and slowly changes in the traditions of the Klingon people.
Ok, it's not a very good April Fool's joke, but it was kind of fun to make this mess. :lol:
In case anyone is unclear as to what I am trying to make a mockery of, this is something of a parody of the choreography of the Star Trek Klingons by tracing over portions of Talhoffer's messer work and Klingonizing them.
Klingons, for those not in the know, are always talked about as mighty warriors and incredible fighters by just about everyone in Star Trek, but actual fight-scenes are very hit-or-miss, usually miss. There was a DS9 episode called Blood Oath I watched as a child. Years later I fondly remembered great fighting scenes with the various Klingon characters wading through their enemies. I watched it last year sometime and was saddened at how warped my memories were. I think odds are quite good that if all 30 odd combatants in the episode appeared in real life and attacked me as they did in the show, I would likely slaughter them all with any of my various sharp objects. The standard Klingon bat'leth fight goes like this:
1. One Klingon does a downward swing.
2. The other holds up his bat'leth and blocks.
3. They push against each other in the bind for a minute or three, grunting and maybe insulting each other to show the audience how macho and strong they are.
4. One manages to push the other one away.
5. They repeat the cycle until one of them screws up and gets impaled. The end.
Other points:
If you can actually read Klingon and manage to puzzle out what I wrote by tracing over a Klingon font I downloaded off the net somewhere, you will note that some of the words make sense, but I used standard English grammar. I used a site called the Klingon Pocket Dictionary (see below) to try and get the spelling right anyway.
Credits:
1. Obviously Star Trek, for its easily made fun of Klingons.
2. The work of Talhoffer, in particular the messer work. (Most of you can probably tell exactly which parts I traced over.)
3. Whoever created the Klingon font I downloaded and traced onto my image. I'm afraid I lost track of your website and don't know who you are to cite you.
4. This site, Klingon Pocket Dictionary: http://klingonska.org/cgi-bin/dict.cgi?query=Here&field=eng, which provided me with a way to actually use Klingon spelling in my little joke.
Edit: And I apologize for the small pictures and text. Looked a lot bigger in Paint.