[Thomas McDonald]

> Don't mess with Grandma

> This is supposedly a true story .......
>
> An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her
> car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She
> dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream
> at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get
> out of the car!" the four men didn't wait for a second invitation.
>
> They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to
> load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into driver's seat.
> She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
> She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.
>
> A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces
> farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the Police
> station.. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.
>
> He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting
> a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than
>
> five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
>
> No charges were filed.
> AH, SENIOR MOMENTS

[Thomas McDonald]

Two Irishmen

>Two Irishmen were sitting next to each other at a bar.
>After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."
>
>The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
>
>The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?" The other guys answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am." The first guy responds, Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?" The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary St in the old central part of town." The first guy says, "Faith it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course." The first guy gets real excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I graduated in 1964." The first guy exclaims, "The good lord must be smilin' down upon us! I can hardly believe our luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, ! I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!"
>
>About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shakes his head and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight. The McNally twins are drunk again."

[Robert Zamoida]