This one might be a bit far-out even for the off-topic forum, but I'll try to stay on the a&a track. Helping me will require good knowledge of armour for man and horse.

Lately, when I haven't been working on a sallet project I've been slowly dismembering an old Trek road bike with the goal of converting it to fixed gear. One of the problems I face is repainting (for the second time). Rattle-can painting a bike frame is a big fat pain and never looks great. It just occurred to me that the frame could be stripped, polished and otherwise treated like plate armour. That may be wildly impractical but it's cheap and led me to the idea of a subtle armour design theme throughout the project--all bright steel frame and aluminum components, leather saddle, etc. No brakes on a classic "fixie," so there won't be ugly cables to spoil the look.

So, I'm brainstorming about the kinds of subtle details that would echo, say, late 15th c. German or Italian armour. A red saddle and bar tape, for example. Red wheels are an option. I have one set of brazed bottle mounts on the down tube, and there might be some interesting possibilities there (can't think of any at present).

Can you think of other things? tiny shaffron over the stem, with the eye-guards over the bars? steel ring for a mace?

I'll entertain all ideas but keep in mind the aesthetic of the fixie, which is meant to be stripped, mechanically simple and light (but typically rather flashy). See the bike below as a good example of the type.

I won't be getting one of those black sallet bike helmets, but SOMEBODY should get one and paint accordingly! :D

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I prefer the single speed more, brakes safe lives. But that is a different matter.

Leave it as is, not everything looks good with armour on. It would add things here and there and would possibly end in an "OCC like" thing.

Maybe you could ride it with a real black sallet for the sake of safety.

I know what you mean, Felix. I definitely don't want a novelty bike, just something suggestive of armour. If I can't make that work properly it'll be yellow.

There's currently nothing to leave alone, though. It's just an old frame and crankset, so all options are open. Could even do single-speed and brake using the old wheel/freewheel. I would definitely wear a (proper helmet) and add a brake for street riding, no matter what. I don't plan to ride street, as I think it's suicidal no matter the bike or helmet. "Roadies" get killed around here all the time. This is a university bike. A sidewalk bike to get me from one side of campus to the other in style.

Hi Sean,

don't mix your hobbys. Fixies do look best as you have already declared: stripped down to the minimum. And they should be light - so don't put any armor or other bits onto the frame. Another thing to consider is theft. If you want to use it at your university, keep in mind not to make it overly fashionable, because then it will attract thieves.

Best regards,
Thomas

I would love to see PJD on American Chopper create an Armor themed Motorcycle! Now that would be awesome.

That's right, Scott. Even that motorbike would be too much for this project. I'm thinking more along the lines of filing the bottle mount bolt heads into rosettes, using red leather toe straps, making a small, tooled leather tool/tube bag. I don't want the bike to look armoured. I want it to echo the best of armour design within the parameters of the fixed gear aesthetic--mostly colors, materials and finishes. A tiny shaffron (maybe 2"x4") would be as literal as I'd want to go, and even that might be too much.

A Brooks leather saddle would be perfect, but I've just noticed that a new one is about $250! I could buy a whole bike for that!

How about painting a small targe on the front of the head tube where manufacturers usually put their logo? It would be small and inconspicuous.

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Targe, Met 25.26.1

That's the ticket, Scott!

This is an old Trek, so it has an oval brass plate (now blank) on the head tube. I was thinking of engraving or etching it with an image of the Madonna of Ghisallo, patron saint of cyclists, but I like your paint idea better. :D I also like the famous painted shield featuring a knight, lady and death. I have my Towton ancestor's arms as well. Could make it a Towton bike. Lots of ideas for painting that plate.

That's good thinking, man! :D Thanks!

How about changing the gears for some self-made one's which have a tad more gothic-y lines on the inside?

and wouldn't a Brooks saddle be perfect?

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A MUCH cheaper alternative:

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How about blued and gilded, like the George Clifford garniture?

Something like this:

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I have to admit Sean, I initially thought this thread was a late April Fools' joke :)

Hello, Adam,

The 'Clifford' garniture was indeed originally blued. The original colour still survives under the brow reinforce and a few other covered areas.

I couldn't resist; here's a pic of the 'Malaysian Urban Assault Bike' by my fellow grad student (we did our master's shows together) Lars Borgesen. Yes, he used to ride it around town. :D

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