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Colt Reeves





Joined: 09 Mar 2009

Posts: 466

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 1:13 am    Post subject: Ancient Klingon Fighting Techniques         Reply with quote

On a recent trip to Boreth I got the chance of a lifetime. I was allowed within the inner sanctum of the Klingon monastery there, a place few but devote Klingon priests may go. There I was allowed to look upon and even record the images from an ancient Klingon text, a manuscript that shows bat'leth fighting techniques hundreds of years old, the very basis of what became the fighting style seen today. I saved the images I saw and brought them here to show to all and sundry.

Though hard to make out in spots and written in an older dialect of Klingon, I was able to translate what was written on the images. Below I show the images and my translation:


As you can plainly see, not a lot has actually changed in how the bat'leth is handled over the years. However, the footwork of these ancient warriors is clearly more complicated than its modern counterpart. One of the monks there told me there has been something of a revival of sorts going on on Qo'nos where some Klingons are attempting to relearn the old ways.

I leave you now to ponder the images and consider how the ancient art of combat persists and slowly changes in the traditions of the Klingon people.













































































Ok, it's not a very good April Fool's joke, but it was kind of fun to make this mess. Laughing Out Loud

In case anyone is unclear as to what I am trying to make a mockery of, this is something of a parody of the choreography of the Star Trek Klingons by tracing over portions of Talhoffer's messer work and Klingonizing them.

Klingons, for those not in the know, are always talked about as mighty warriors and incredible fighters by just about everyone in Star Trek, but actual fight-scenes are very hit-or-miss, usually miss. There was a DS9 episode called Blood Oath I watched as a child. Years later I fondly remembered great fighting scenes with the various Klingon characters wading through their enemies. I watched it last year sometime and was saddened at how warped my memories were. I think odds are quite good that if all 30 odd combatants in the episode appeared in real life and attacked me as they did in the show, I would likely slaughter them all with any of my various sharp objects. The standard Klingon bat'leth fight goes like this:
1. One Klingon does a downward swing.
2. The other holds up his bat'leth and blocks.
3. They push against each other in the bind for a minute or three, grunting and maybe insulting each other to show the audience how macho and strong they are.
4. One manages to push the other one away.
5. They repeat the cycle until one of them screws up and gets impaled. The end.

Other points:
If you can actually read Klingon and manage to puzzle out what I wrote by tracing over a Klingon font I downloaded off the net somewhere, you will note that some of the words make sense, but I used standard English grammar. I used a site called the Klingon Pocket Dictionary (see below) to try and get the spelling right anyway.


Credits:
1. Obviously Star Trek, for its easily made fun of Klingons.
2. The work of Talhoffer, in particular the messer work. (Most of you can probably tell exactly which parts I traced over.)
3. Whoever created the Klingon font I downloaded and traced onto my image. I'm afraid I lost track of your website and don't know who you are to cite you.
4. This site, Klingon Pocket Dictionary: http://klingonska.org/cgi-bin/dict.cgi?query=Here&field=eng, which provided me with a way to actually use Klingon spelling in my little joke.


Edit: And I apologize for the small pictures and text. Looked a lot bigger in Paint.
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JE Sarge
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PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 1:31 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

This was actually very entertaining. Good one! Laughing Out Loud
J.E. Sarge
Crusader Monk Sword Scabbards and Customizations
www.crusadermonk.com

"But lack of documentation, especially for such early times, is not to be considered as evidence of non-existance." - Ewart Oakeshott
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Colt Reeves





Joined: 09 Mar 2009

Posts: 466

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 1:44 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Thanks!

I was afraid nobody would know what I was babbling about and just give me the internet version of avoiding eye contact and walking away. I do have a strange sense of humor....
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Gabriele A. Pini




Location: Olgiate Comasco, Como
Joined: 02 Sep 2008

Posts: 239

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 2:00 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

I arrived at the post from the main page, and for a moment I feared that it was a newbie that proposed such a topic, and that he was serious about it. A no-eyes-contact would be the very least of his problem: a no-eyes-at-all is more probable...

All said, good 1st of april! (this year, for Christians, today is the Holy Thursday, so its a little quiet here)
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Boyd C-F




Location: Nelson, New Zealand
Joined: 08 Oct 2008

Posts: 57

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 2:31 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

It didn't seem so odd when compared with this...

http://www.ospreypublishing.com/blog/Our_firs...pace_Ship/

Let us hope that this is also in the same nature as your KIinghoffer!

Cheers

Boyd
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Jean-Carle Hudon




Location: Montreal,Canada
Joined: 16 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 4:51 am    Post subject: rosetta stone         Reply with quote

I guess all of their Klingon techniques will just continue to be misunderstood until someone comes along with a rosetta stone of klingon martial arts to help us all finally understand...
Bon coeur et bon bras
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Gabriele A. Pini




Location: Olgiate Comasco, Como
Joined: 02 Sep 2008

Posts: 239

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 5:00 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Jack Ecclesia? April Windup?

Too bad, it would have be a lovely serie, especially Astra Bellum 3, Space Marines Battlebarge, M30-41 Big Grin
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A. Spanjer




Location: USA
Joined: 26 Apr 2009

Posts: 242

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 5:18 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Great April fool's day joke! Being a Trekkie, I can speak a little bit of Klingon, but not enough to translate that without getting out my Klingon dictionary (yes, I own a Klingon dictionary Razz )

After seeing this, I really want a Bat'leth... :P

Na sir 's na seachain an cath.
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Jean Thibodeau




Location: Montreal,Quebec,Canada
Joined: 15 Mar 2004
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Spotlight topics: 5
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PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 7:19 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Colt Reeves wrote:
Thanks!

I was afraid nobody would know what I was babbling about and just give me the internet version of avoiding eye contact and walking away. I do have a strange sense of humor....


Not a chance this site is crawling with " History NERDS " and " Sci-Fi NERDS " are just impatient historians who just can't wait for the Future to be safely in the past i.e. Historians in a hurry !

And anyway, a Klingon ship is way overdue to crash land in Kansas or some place like in the " ENTERPRISE " Star Trek series: Darn, someone is fooling around with the Time line again ! First they screwed up the Eugenics War of Khan in 1999 and the Star Trek timeline has been disappointing ever since as I want my operating Phaser and a replicator to make my own swords out of thin air.

The APRIL FOOLS joke, here, is that this Topic should become a " Spotlight " Topic and we can have serious discussions and arguments about Klingon footwork and the use of their head bumps aggressively when wresting at dagger range.

Seriously though isn't the standard technique with the Bat' Leth a form of half swording or similar in techniques to a short staff ! It can be used from one side for more reach but this seems to be secondary to close range work. Razz Razz Razz Wink Cool

( NOTE: I just couldn't resist and nominated this Topic as a " Spotlight Topic " ..... sorry Nathan, Razz Laughing Out Loud )

You can easily give up your freedom. You have to fight hard to get it back!
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Jean Thibodeau




Location: Montreal,Quebec,Canada
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PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 7:24 am    Post subject: Re: rosetta stone         Reply with quote

Jean-Carle Hudon wrote:
I guess all of their Klingon techniques will just continue to be misunderstood until someone comes along with a rosetta stone of klingon martial arts to help us all finally understand...


Cruel very cruel. Evil Razz Wink Laughing Out Loud

You can easily give up your freedom. You have to fight hard to get it back!
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Ken Speed





Joined: 09 Oct 2006

Posts: 653

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 8:58 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

I have to admit I thought "Fighting with a Pig Face" was an April Fool's Topic, I was actually hesitant to read it. The mental images this title inspired were bizarre in the extreme! I couldn't help thinking, "Why would anyone want to fight with a Pig Face?" Big Grin
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Steven H




Location: Boston
Joined: 10 May 2006

Posts: 545

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 11:09 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Woot!

I, too, was worried that this post was from someone trying to be taken seriously. Thankfully, it was awesome.

Cheers,
Steven

Kunstbruder - Boston area Historical Combat Study
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B Lorenzoni




Location: Graz
Joined: 22 Jun 2008

Posts: 1

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 11:25 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Just found this video:

Batleth Contest Highlights
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7fW7UQMaYk
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Colt Reeves





Joined: 09 Mar 2009

Posts: 466

PostPosted: Thu 01 Apr, 2010 2:08 pm    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Quote:
I arrived at the post from the main page, and for a moment I feared that it was a newbie that proposed such a topic, and that he was serious about it. A no-eyes-contact would be the very least of his problem: a no-eyes-at-all is more probable...


Quote:
I, too, was worried that this post was from someone trying to be taken seriously. Thankfully, it was awesome.


Then it actually had something of a prank to it. Got at least two people. Wink


At Jean:
Yes, if I remember correctly, the Klingon attacking usually does bring both hands down to one of the holes/handles at one end for reach. It seems the ancient Klingon Tal'hof'tek simply omitted that step from his work and showed them in the bind right off. Maybe when I return to Boreth I will be allowed to look at further works of old. I'm sure there must be daggerwork and the Mek'leth... Meh'leth... The smaller one Worf uses.


At Lorenzoni:
I didn't see that video when I was looking around on Youtube to see what I could see for my little parody, but I did find the "Best of Bat'leth" ones. Kind of funny that some people are really trying to fight like Klingons, but scary when one thinks that the average person probably considers Klingon wannabes and people trying to practice Talhoffer as similar crazies. (Not trying to insult you Klingon warriors out there... much. It looks like fun, and if I happened to come across a group of you I might join in as a guilty pleasure. Big Grin )



Edit:
And in case you can't read the tiny writing in the image, it says:
First plate:
"Here they fight with the Bat'leth. Kahless help them."

Second plate:
"He will strike from above. But he will parry strong."
"Now they push. Push push push."

Third plate:
"Now he has thrust him away from himself and will strike from above. And he will parry strongly and they will push thus."
"And they will fight and the opponent will fall."


Kind of does have a Talhoffer translation feel to it. I couldn't find direct translations for several of the words I wanted that would have made it more... "normal".
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Lafayette C Curtis




Location: Indonesia
Joined: 29 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Mon 02 Feb, 2015 7:38 am    Post subject:         Reply with quote

Any new discoveries on this front? Big Grin
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